Who’s Who?

July 21, 2010

First of all, this is not a post targeted toward the LGBT community, as I am all for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender rights and the rights of all people in general, ALWAYS. And it’s not targeted toward those in certain situations, where roles are not made by choice, but a family is struggling through a tough economy.

No this controversial thought of mine, my core belief, this rant is mainly about those who have a choice and are STRAIGHT couples. :-p

I am not so much into the traditional cookie-cutter pattern on how people should be and live their lives. Traditional gender roles is not how I live 100% in my own life. I am not girly and I am kind of butchy. However, I am seeing a trend in my generation and younger, that has me wondering… Who is the guy and who is the girl? :-/

I was raised in the era, where “Girl Power” started and was encouraged in school. It was a great time, of teaching young girls that they are not inferior to boys and have just as much power as males do. The idea that a female could “pierce the glass ceiling”, going into a corporate jungle that is dominated by males, and become successful in her trade and skills, was a very exciting and positive idea! Like any other minority, as females, we did want equal footing and rights as anyone else.

However… many females got the message that they SHOULD and HAVE TO strive for jobs into dominantly male owned careers. It became that it wasn’t just a choice and option, but a duty for the voice of all woman-kind, to fight your way into a corporate business life. And any female that wished to be a homemaker or work in fashion, or any of those perceived “feminine” jobs, was an “sell-out”. So many women of my generation wanted to not be accused of being “weak”, rushing into the world of, and taking jobs within the man’s world, just to prove some point. I think that’s where we, as women, lost our way!

The whole point of “Girl Power” was to make it so that women who WANTED to have jobs in a corporate setting, or to be allowed to play the same sports as males, and to be respected and heard on the level of men, COULD do so with confidence and support. I don’t believe it was suppose to be a badge of, “Stuff as many women into a made-for-men box as possible! We’ll show those bastards who wears the pants!”, a sort of war against men.

This bothers me, because even though I’m rough around the edges, I did want to become a fashion model as a teen. Yes, I climbed trees, rolled in the mud, collected bugs, and speed on my bike like a dare-devil. I was the classic tomboy and still am! But, I still wanted to dance around in pretty outfits for the cameras and strike fun poses. My fellow females ripped that apart, claiming that I was an sell-out, and also pointed out that I was no where pretty enough for that type of job anyways. :-o

And as an adult, I often wish to be a homemaker, to have that dream of taking care of the house and kids, while my significant other goes to work. And with me greeting them at the door with a kiss and a cold drink, after work. And many women frown and want to rip that apart too. :-(

I never wanted to work in corporate business or own a business. I never wanted to join in the same sports as males as an athlete (except for Football and Hockey, as a teen). I’ve only wanted to have the same right to do these things, as males, and only if I should ever feel like it. I wanted to be free, like males are, to decide to do something and not have to worry, “Will I be called an dyke for doing this? Or will I be hassled, because this isn’t considered the “girly” norm?” And I always want for all women, who want to do these things, to have the right to regardless.

On the same token, with this gender-role war happening, many males are taking advantage with it! They’re now the homemakers, staying at home, and letting the woman take care of the bills and working hard at work. I probably wouldn’t mind this role reversal too much, but only a small percentage of men-at-home are actually doing their jobs with taking care of the children and the housework. They’re spending too much time online instead, or playing video games, lounging around and the working-woman still has to come home and do the housework and clean the kids too! :-o

This is not just a general assumption either, on my part. Sadly, if I use all the fingers on my hands and all of my toes, I can’t count up the many number of homemaker-males that I know of, who behave in this way. Not to mention that they are cheaters too, and the working -wives have to put up with taking care of the family financially, cleaning and cooking for the household, and those mysterious calls of various women at odd hours of the night. AND… on top of that, they have to give their homemaker men an allowance for clothes an such too.  The husband becomes the “lazy wife” that ever man dreads of getting, sitting around on his butt and eating bon-bons all day!

In these flip-flop relationships, that I know of and see, I have to wonder… who is the “man” of the relationship and who is the “woman”?  And why are women putting up with it? And why aren’t the men striving to BE men? What is really happening to my generation and those in younger generations? :-(

Again, this no reflection on gay or lesbian couples. Sometimes one does the role of the opposite sex, after all it is two men or two women. And this is not a reflection on transgender couples either, as the man feels he was born a woman from the start, and vice versa for transgendered females. Also, there are certain situations for straight couples, where the male is unable to be the provider, due to being laid-off from work or injured, thus the woman has to take on that role to keep the family afloat. I’m not ranting about that.

But a straight couple, where the man is capable of finding and getting a job, yet loves being taken care of and staying at home (doing nothing, in most of these cases), I just want to slap that guy and yell, “Grow up and be a man!” Yet, on the other hand, I don’t have a right to because their wives encourage this behavior. And also with the on-going idea/war that women must do what men do, to prove our strength and equality. It makes it very hard to speak on the issue of men wearing the skirt in the family, when women feel that they must wear the pants to be respected. :-(

Though… I honestly can’t see why there is only one skirt and one pair of pants per household. It seems like both could wear the pants or both the skirts. Then maybe the partnerships would be equal, instead of a reversal of roles. We need to go shopping and buy more clothes for the wardrobe. :-p



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