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Tough Noogies!

August 5, 2010

Another rant post! But this time I’m not as apologetic, as I am more baffled and very annoyed, at the same time! :-o

Recently, I refused to let people call me “best friend” or claim me as one, on these website communities. I had even written a previous post in this blog (06/19/:Are We Lost?), on the subject of how people from these web-communities assume that adding a stranger to their “friend-list”, “circle-list”, or “buddy-list” automatically makes a person their new BFF. Many had read my statuses on this subject (directly on the sites), and even fewer read my blog here. But most pitched a fit! “What do you mean, I’m not your BFF??? You’re on my friend-list-thingy, and we play *CowVille Tractor Bakery Pets together! By the way, I still need more tires for my tractor in the game, send more.”  

NO… no, no, no, no, no! A best friend, to me, means it’s a person who knows me beyond just being  an fellow app-game buddy, and that I am good with more than sending supplies within site application games. :-/

I rarely make friends, let alone “BEST FRIENDS”, in short periods of time. It usually takes months of constant conversations, just to get to the “friend” status. And that’s IF I LIKE YOU to start out with! Let’s face the facts here, I don’t like everyone and everyone doesn’t like me. So after the first rant on this, many of these people have been a lot cold and grumpy toward me… and I’ve removed every one of those types from my list. And every now and then, I’ll get a “freeze-out” from a few, who didn’t take kindly to me insinuating they were not my closest pal, pal. Which means, no game app-gifts for me anymore and also ignoring all request for more tractor tires for myself.

It’s silly! And so, since I don’t have time to argue with these “adults” (well over the age 18, all of them!) on how and why they are not my BFFs, when they freeze me out, I just delete them from my list. I’m not so into these app-games, that I have a need to call a Spade an Ace, just to get gaming items. In fact, I hardly play these application games anymore, as it’s annoying gathering up items to get that stupid tractor!!!

I am friendly and I will add others to my list for gaming purposes, loyally sending items they ask for, in app-game fashion. However, there is a limit on how close I’ll let strangers come into my life. For one, I have a whole list on what a “best friend” means and what it requires. It’s not only what I want from a real friendship, but also what I give back in a real friendship too. But before that list comes into play, I have this funny idea that people should GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, before throwing around labels of “best friend”, “close friend”, or “BFF” (which stands for “best friends forever”, for those who don’t know).

Now, just hear me out! This may be a crazy idea, but humor me. For me, a best friend is someone who knows my race and gender! I know this sounds painfully simple (a “duh” moment!), but I had a few who did a double-take, after they had finally read my very public profiles! All of a sudden, after only being game-buddies for six months or more, and only after they began pushing for the label of  “my best friend ever” and I had refused, did they finally checked to see if I was a girl or a guy! Also my real friends happen to know where I live and my cell-phone number. If you don’t know that info OR I won’t give it to you, it means I don’t trust you! I don’t trust that you will not break personal boundaries, calling me at 3am in the morning. Or to show up on my doorstep with a chainsaw and wearing a hockey mask! And with no trust, how can I be your “BFF”?

A best friend is also one who can answer these questions of: What’s my favorite color? What are my goals, hopes, and dreams? What are my regrets in life? What is my darkest secret? What is my biggest fear? Which critter would cause me to run naked from the house and into the streets, shrieking my head off in fear, if I saw it enter the house? What makes me cry? What makes me smile? What makes me angry? And how moody can I get, on any typical day? What is the most dangerous thing I would like to do?  Which word make me fall into giggles, every time it’s uttered? Where would I love to travel someday? If you don’t know these answers, well, you’re not a best friend! My REAL best friend knows the answers to these and more. And any close friend would know at least half of these answers. ;-)

And don’t bother reading all the posts of this blog, to find out the answer! I NEVER post the most intimate parts of myself online… but nice try. :-p

Not only that, I know much about my best friend – close friends also, because I get nosy and ask in many conversations with them. If I can’t at least list your favorite actors or name your favorite band, then I’m well below being a friend to you. I’m proudly your “acquaintance”, if even that. :-/

And for those that hate that I won’t rush and call them a friend or best friend, I have only two words for you: TOUGH NOOGIES! :-p

No apologies, no guilt, and I just can’t care if people who know NOTHING about me decide to turn over tables in a temper tantrum, because I won’t let them label me (or themselves) something that is just not true. Only thing… freezing me out isn’t going to work. The silent treatment means that you are just an empty account on my friend-list-thingy and sooner or later you will be deleted. So no tractor tires for you!

*Note: All of this tractor business and the game of “Cowville Tractor Bakery Pets” doesn’t actually exist. It’s my “creative” way of naming the madness of games on a web-community.

-D

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