Archive for September, 2010


A 80’s Kind Of Kid!

September 30, 2010

Okay… many argue (older than me) that I’m way too young to remember or appreciate the 80’s. Granted, I was six years old in 1986, but rest assure, I remember the era well and it was actually the happiest years of my youth. When I was five, I had enjoyed late-night music videos on MTV, with my mother and older brother. I was suppose to be asleep, but was stubborn, and sat on the floor in front of a huge tv with my family. I remember clearly of a video called, “Sarah” by Starship, that had aired one night. My mother told me that the song was about me, as it happens to be my middle one. And my face lit up, “Really, mommy?!” I felt special, too young to realize that the song wasn’t really made for me. But for the longest, I thought it was. ;-)

I grew up to many of the songs of that era, bouncing around my room to “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” by Cindi Lauper; enjoying “99 Luftballons” – which I had called the “Balloon Song”, not learning of it’s political message until YEARS later;  falling in love with Sting’s voice in “Every Breath You Take” – even though that’s a song about stalking; and leaning all the words to “When Doves Cry” by Prince, before he became “formerly known” or that symbol thingy. :-p

And most of all, my first crushes was on the lead singer in the Ah-ha video “Take On Me” and anything David Bowie! David Bowie was an sexy man and still is!!! He was also my first start of loving blondes, from his role in the movie “The Labyrinth”! :-)

I have always wanted the leg warmers, the fishnet gloves that Madonna had, the pink and punky hair! Of course, my mother said, “NO!” to all of that, for a little girl of age 6 -10. I only wish that I was an teen in that era, then I may have gotten my way. :-p

Many insist that I should be more into the 90’s as that was my teen years. But my teen years were hell, the 80’s lasted too short for me, and in most of the 90’s I stayed in the 80’s still, going through my teen agnst with Depeche Mode or “Don’t Dream It’s Over” by Crowded House. Not to mention a lot of U2 and their earlier stuff! “Rebel Yell”, by Billy Idol, was my teen rebellious war-cry.

I enjoyed the movies of “Ghostbusters”, “The Breakfast Club”, “Ferris Bueller Day Off”, “Back To The Future”. “A Nightmare On Elm Street”, “Big”,  and “Howard The Duck”! Though, Freddy Krueger will forever be the scariest and best monster of all horror movies in history, for me. He scared the crap out of me, as a kid!  Yet… I never did stop watching those horror movies. :-p

The 80’s ROCKED, more than any era so far, in my humble opinion. ;-)



Man Vs. The Forest

September 29, 2010

“Princess Mononoke” is a movie by Studio Ghibli, written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki. It’s not particularly a “family-move”, as there is a little profanity and LOTS of blood and violence. But, the best way to describe this movie (in my opinion) is that it’s a Japanese version of the movie, “FernGully”. :-p

Miyazaki has a love for nature and often put into his films the themes of taking care of forests and lakes. This film is set in the Muromachi period of Japan and concentrates solely on the struggles between man and nature. It’s a story of supernatural guardians of the forests in a war with the humans who insist on consuming the forests resources. It’s very in depth, in it’s plot and the moral of the story.

Also, of course, there a plenty of creatures in this story that are highly fascinating. It would not be a Miyazaki film, without a strange creature or two! ;-)

I do love the Forest Spirit, which is a god with the power to give life or to give death. During the night, he is called the “Nightwalker” (seen in the picture above), and he changes into the shape of night. And during the day, his appearance is that of a great elk with a human-like face.

On a cuter side of things, I also love the tree sprites, called “Kodama”. They help guide the main hero of the story, Ashitaka, through the forests. They are the cutest little creatures ever!

There are thousands of Kodamas in any given forest and they are a sign that a forest is healthy. These creatures can appear and disappear at will. But some people find them intimidating, even though they are a lot friendly. The Kodamas have a deep reverence for the Forest Spirit.

This movie is a lot interesting, entertaining, and reminds us all to be more caring and respectful toward nature. :-)



Outside Or Back In?

September 28, 2010

I always find it funny, when people try too hard to “think outside of the box”, to “color outside of the lines”, or any other catchy ways of expressing individuality. I am all for being open-minded and unique. It’s nice when people come up with ideas for situations or different solutions, for everyday life. I applaud and admire true creativity in people, within art and expression. But, I also know that an truly unique idea, view, or work of art in life is rare gem. Not everyone, including myself, will ALWAYS think outside of the box. We are all affected by this thing called “common sense”, which is… well… common. So, many of our ideas or views are a reflection of our surroundings and our interactions within different social groups.

The ones who think outside of the box and come up with something AWESOME, they do so sporadically and when they do, no one can really say that the unique idea didn’t change the world or have the potential to. The computer was not built in a day, and all of it’s inventors (many were involved in it) didn’t live every day inventing new gadget after gadget, always thinking outside of the box. GRANTED, they did think outside of it in the first place, coming up with the trillion-dollar idea of a machine, which became a staple in every household and as much needed as a couch or lamp. And others in marketing thought outside of the box still, making the massive machine smaller and thinner, to the point that we can easily carry it with us down any busy street today. This outside-thinking did change the course of the modern world. ;-)

But, what makes me laugh is when people try to use the term “outside the box”, as a way to separate themselves from a perceived “herd”. In order for them to prove that they think outside the box, these types will try to go against the grain of popular thought, not because they generally feel that view. It’s easy to spot who’s pretending or not pretending to be “non-mainstream”, from the insane arguments they choose. For example: of course many people would agree that education for children is important. Hell, education in general (for everyone) is important. The extremist will argue that education is NOT important at all and is the downfall of all society, only because many would say and think the obvious – that education is important.  To say the opposite is playing “devil advocate”, and is NOT thinking outside of the box. It’s actually an very old game played by lawyers since the 1500’s, within the canonization progress of the Roman Church. It’s not new, people, therefore it’s not “thinking outside the box”. It’s like me saying the word “Railroad”, then branding myself a genius for inventing the system. :-p

What the people who claim to be “outside-thinkers” fail to realize is, that there is a group of others who claim to be beyond “mainstream” also. So, of this perceived “herd” (meaning people like me who do have common sense and don’t always have original ideas.. or have a need to pat our own backs and announce it, when we do come up with an original ideas), these types fail to see that they are also in herd of their own. :-/

I have no need to not listen to certain music, to not voice certain ideas, or to not stand for certain beliefs  to prove that I’m not “mainstream”. That’s silly, to me! I don’t worry (obviously!) about what others think about me, when I take a stand on something. Nor do I hesitate to RANT and RAVE about something. I’m not trying to play Devil Advocate or trying to prove that I think outside of the box… Actually, I believe that I’m “inside” the box and I love mainstream. I’m proud of it! I don’t care for titles, never had and never will. :-)

I only get annoyed (yet laugh) when strangers I run across have this stuck-up vibe toward me and others, believing that they are better than most, because they purposely choose the opposite roads in life or listen to crappy underground music. I also get a little sad for them too. I guess, we all want to be special in our own way, to have worth as an individual. But, people already have that worth within themselves, that uniqueness that no one else can touch. There’s no need to make up an exclusive status to feel better about oneself. Because in that way, then you are truly trapped inside a box, stuck in a label like any other common, where you must always uphold the image of it… even against your own true nature or ideas.

I think Shakespeare said it best, “Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.” We are all so different, but yet so similar… ;-)



Letter To The President

September 27, 2010

I have found the White House address online, during this weekend. I’ve decided that maybe I should write a letter to the President of this country, in a last-ditch effort to get my concerns addressed. I know for a fact that the President gets millions of letters and that my letter may never reach his desk. And even if it does, it may wind up in the “circular file”, meaning the trashcan. But, I have to try, regardless. :-p

The following is my letter to him, which I will send in snail-mail, once I get the postage for it. I have edited out my personal information on it for this blog, the first few sentences explaining my full name and who I am. I never trust to put my personal information on the internet, for my own protection. I do warn you, this letter is pretty long, of course. :-)

Dear Mr. President,
(edited out personal information) – I had not been a part of politics in my youth and even at the legal age of voting, I did not vote and left the choice up to others, not really caring about who was in office or not. It wasn’t until the last Bush administration, that I became disappointed and concern about how the country was being handled. Also I had some guilt, as I didn’t take part or voice my vote in the last election, leaving it up to others to decide for me. And the people voted for a President not once, but twice, that had caused a lot of mess for this nation and affected everyone. So, by the time the new elections started, I decided to register to vote and not simply sit by and let others make a decision for me anymore. I was age 27, at the time, following the debates of the summer. The candidates were you, Mr. Obama, Mrs. Hilary Clinton, and John McCain. I must admit, I was very new to politics, in the dark to political terms and parties. I had to do a lot of  research, while following the debates, in order to keep up with the topics. Even today,  I still do not have a political party that I am strongly for.

But, I had followed the debates closely, as this was going to be my first time voting, ever. I wanted to make a clear and right choice, so that I would not merely be a complainant toward a current leader or his choices for the country, like I were for the Bush administration. Sure, I voiced a lot on internet forums on how much I didn’t like the last President’s policies and bad choices, yet I never voted for him or his opponent, as I had left my choice up to others. It was shameful to me and hypocritical, so this time I decided to take part and I wanted a CHANGE. You and Hilliary offered it, in your arguments and debates, your nicely written speeches, and strong convictions. So did McCain, but then he added an running mate, which I was not confident in nor liked. Also, he failed to touch on the subjects that matters most to me, so that’s how McCain had lost my interests.

I was honestly torn between you and Mrs. Clinton, but when Clinton was out of the the running, the obvious choice was you, Mr. Obama. I followed all of your debates, visited your campaign sites, loved the debates of your running mate, Vice President Biden. Whatever I couldn’t understand in jargon, I looked it up immediately, I educated myself on politics to the best of my ability. I wanted my vote to count and to mean something. In the autumn of 2008, I went voting for you, which was a huge feat, because I suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder. I had to stand in line for an hour and a half, in a crowd of people to vote, which is very difficult for a person with my disability. But even in my fears, I kept telling myself, “I can do this. This is important! I must make it through to vote for the man who is going to help heal this nation and make it better for everyone. Not just for me and my family, but for ALL people.” I made it though, I voted, and I went off to visit my therapist that day, ecstatic that I had made it and voted for the first very time!

And that night, I watched the tallying of the votes nervously, praying feverishly that you would win. And when you did, my legs turned to jelly, I was shaken.  I woke up my sleeping sister and could only mutter to her, “Obama won…”, my breath taken away. I had voted for a change, along with many others, and our voices counted! I had never been a part of something like that before! I was elated.

But, then came a time when the celebration and party was over. I had waited patiently for you to come through on the promises of your campaign: Bringing home the troops from Iraq, going after the real hot-spot of Terrorism in Afghanistan and stopping the real people involved with 9-11, a better health-care system, a healing of our fallen economy, more jobs available for people, and the DreamAct: which will give young Hispanics a chance to become legal US citizens. Not to mention, less oil and clean burning coal.

I had believed in your convictions, I was so sure that you were a man with a plan. I knew that everything wouldn’t be put into place, right away, as there are so many issues. But I had faith that in two years, many of those things would be at least actively worked on, moving forward toward completion. And it’s been almost two years, yet the only “change” that has been delivered is that the troops were bought home, finally and after a longer wait than you had previously promised. And we have a new health-care system, which is rickety (full of holes and not perfected, by a long shot) at best. There are no jobs and my city is falling under heavily in debt, to the point that our Mayor keeps trying to cut Sanitation or the Fire Department, to keep the city afloat. If you talk with anyone in my city, they will tell you that lay-offs are rampant and if a person wants a job, they have to travel way outside of the city to get one. But even if a person is able to travel to another state for a job, it isn’t a guaranteed that they will be employed, as there too many people needing jobs and not enough jobs to go around. Where are the new jobs promised and why are people still losing their homes? Meanwhile, big business are getting too many bail-outs, while the rest of us are suffering still…

Not only that, the DreamAct is stalled and racial lines are being drawn all over this country. There is a gross political game being played with the lives of human beings, young people, who just want a chance to be apart of our country. To get better education here or to help serve in our armed forces, to fight for us! And it seems that both parties, Democrats and Republicans are holding the bill as a weapon to further their own agendas and personal stances. What about the lives involved? Does anyone care about these students?

Religious wars are breaking out in this country, as Muslims are NOW coming under heavy fire, due to what a group of religious extremist did to us on 9-11, 2001. I cannot express how horrified and disturbed I was, to see so many blogs and forums of hate being created by the thousands on the internet, of groups planning to burn Qur’an or quoting, “We shouldn’t stop with that, we should burn down Mosques too! Let’s take back this nation, body by body!”. No one is stopping in their ignorance to realize that the crimes of 9-11 was done by monsters, who do not speak nor stand for the true religion of Islam. Even our last President has quoted to remind everyone, soon after the tragedy of that day, that the acts of 9-11 was the direct cause of religious fanatics and not the cause of Muslim faith.

There are so many civil rights being trampled on, in this nation, and we’re fighting among ourselves. Meanwhile, there are a lot of bad people in the world, who would like nothing more than to blow our country into kingdom come. While we’re fighting among ourselves and political games are being played, these dark forces are gathering and planning with one mind, organized and unified, getting ready for their war against us. And they don’t care if we’re Black, White, Hispanic, or so on. They don’t care which religion we are. They see us all as Americans, the enemy, and this war isn’t over. It’s only just started!

I am afraid. I am worried for the future of America. I do believe that you can do more to fix this situation, Mr. President. Or at least put an stop to the in-fighting we have here, so more pressing matters can be addressed, like fixing the economy, the health-care system, and gathering more jobs and resources for the everyday working Americans. No money and no work, equals a rise in crime and criminal activities, after all. Also, we need to focus more on Terrorism and protecting our country, as more terrorists attacks are bound to happen. I fear that another 9-11 is not far from happening again, being that the ones responsible are still out there and free to plot again.

I know that you can’t control the Senate, but you CAN put pressure on them to focus on certain civil-right bills. Our last President was known for pushing his ideas and the way he wanted to run the country, through the Senate. He had made his mistakes, including bringing our country’s economy to it’s knees, but he still took those bold movements. I think you should at least TRY to do some of the things you had promised, including the DreamAct, which got you votes from the Hispanic community. They had believed in you and depended on you for help. Don’t let them down!

Sure, many Republican are against it and are shooting down the bill. But just as bad, the Democrats are not fighting for this bill as hard as they can or should, or without a political scheme for more votes this season. I have lost my faith in Democracy, at this point, which is heart-breaking. Also, when that church in Florida wanted to burn the Qur’an and no one put an end to it, even though it threaten the safety of our troops in Afghanistan and our National Security,  I’ve lost a little more faith in your administration. I am grateful that the leader of that church didn’t go through with it, but it wasn’t from the intervention of you or your administration.

You must be a leader, Mr. President. You can’t be everyone’s friend and your job is a lot important. And like every parent has to do with their children, you have to make some tough decisions and movements for the whole of the nation, and not give into trying to please everyone. We are your children, in a sense, and America is a family. But the way things are now, you’re in a stand-still and neither party is seeing results. The Democrats are unhappy, the Republicans are unhappy, and people like me (the average people who don’t have any party affiliate at this point or care that much about politics, we just want peace and fairness!), are in despair. Please DO SOMETHING!



Thanks for reading this three page letter, even if President Obama never does. :-)




September 24, 2010

For this music Friday, here’s one of my favorite songs by Depeche Mode, named “Precious”. A little moody, but I love this 80 song, in it’s eerie sound and dark lyrics. It is a mark of time, before”Emo” was ever invented, and there were only just Goths who got moody sometimes… not wallow in misery on purpose. Good times! :-)

Precious and fragile things
Need special handling
My God what have we done to you?

We always tried to share
The tenderest of care
Now look what we have put you through

Things get damaged, things get broken
I thought we’d manage, but words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

Angels with silver wings
Shouldn’t know suffering
I wish I could take the pain for you

If God has a master plan
That only He understands
I hope it’s your eyes He’s seeing through

Things get damaged, things get broken
I thought we’d manage, but words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give

I pray you learn to trust
Have faith in both of us
And keep room in your hearts for two

Things get damaged, things get broken
I thought we’d manage, but words left unspoken
Left us so brittle
There was so little left to give



Little Yellow Bucket

September 23, 2010

I grew up in a “broken home”, as they call it. My father was an abusive drug addict who terrorized my mother, myself, and my siblings. I was often left alone to deal with my own problems in life, like school bullies, my anxiety issues, and my loneliness of not having any friends. My sister and I didn’t get along, until our teen years, so I could not confide in her. My oldest brother, my hero and closest sibling, couldn’t take the abuse of my father and my mother’s unwillingness to let go of the scumbag, so he ran off into the US Army. My mother was deep into a co-dependent relationship, being the punching bag to my “father”, emotionally and physically. So, she could not be there for me or my sister. And the rule was that my sister and I were not to tell anyone, for fear that we would be taken away by child services. :-/

So, I needed an outlet for my pain, hurt, and confusion. Some children lash out or act out, when they’re in an abusive situation at home, or get into various types of trouble. My way of dealing with it, was to grab my pail and shovel and rush out into thunderstorms…

It started when I was six years old, until the age of nine when I found out the reality of what I was doing. But before then on plenty of stormy days, I would grab my little bucket and plastic shovel, put on a very thin plastic raincoat, with no shoes on, and run out into the streets. I live in the city, but the storms in Philly are often pretty brutal. :-p

I’ve been in storms, where I had to hold onto the bucket so it wouldn’t fly away, in the high winds. I’ve ducked flying trashcans and lawn chairs that flew from the neighbors’ front porches. I’ve been in side-ways flowing rain and rain-filled winds so thick, that I could hardly see two feet ahead of me! I was just a very skinny kid then, yet I was never afraid. :-)

I enjoyed it so very much! The rain would be two or three inches high, flowing down my neighborhood street, like an river. No one would be out there, just me alone, in the thunder that shook the ground and made my ears pop. I would play with my bucket in all of that rough rain, laughing and screaming, getting soaked to the bone! :-D

It stopped when I learned that I was putting myself at risk for getting struck by lightning. In Pennsylvania, it’s quite common for people to get hit (if not killed!) by lightning, especially in summer storms. I was just VERY lucky to have not gotten hit, as the trees in my nearby park were being struck down in almost every storm! :-o

But as a kid, I was often oblivious to danger… I also use to hunt down centipedes in my garden, as a hobby, because they smelled nice and minty. I didn’t realize until I was twelve years old, that the mint smell is their poison and centipedes normally sting people who bother with them! And I was a giggly and rude little girl, who would snatch up rocks in the garden and roughly pick up the insects… it’s a miracle that I had never gotten stung by an centipede. :-/

As an adult, I still enjoy the wild power of rain storms. But, I no longer go out into them and play, now that I know of the risks. Still, I miss the feeling of being one with nature, in that way, of being in the middle of high-winds and sideway rain. But, I’ll always keep my memories of those little yellow bucket days. It’s one of my happier memories of my childhood, believe it or not. ;-)



Why Can’t We Dream?

September 22, 2010

There is a reason why I don’t like politics… There is a reason why I didn’t register or vote until the age of 27. I seem to always think that politicians are just liars, power-hungry maniacs, born dictators who don’t care about the will of the people or the voices of the nation… that politicians are all just tricksters, shady business men, trying to rule the world and will say ANYTHING to get elected. This is what I thought. And this is how I feel about it, sometimes. Though, not all politicians are sneaky bastards, but the majority are. :-(

Maybe… I’m just sadden by the fact of the DreamAct bill, a bill to give Hispanic students a chance to become US citizens, wasn’t passed yesterday in the Senate. I wanted the hard-working, every day Americans, to have a chance to put to a vote on their ideas and beliefs on immigration. And I was hoping that this Senate vote would be a fair one, for that chance for “We, the People”, to decide later in mid-term elections… But it seems that there was no fair chance and it seems very suspicious to me. Politicians had added in the DADT bill, along with the DreamAct, for yesterday’s vote as one Defense Bill. For those who don’t know, DADT stands for “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”, a long standing military policy, which the Gay Rights groups wanted to see removed. I find it highly suspicious on why these two issues were included into one bill for voting. Neither of them was the same or dealt with the same problems. And in this way, it seemed to assure, that if a Senator voted against one, the other would have to fall too… like an tactic of “killing two birds with one stone”. That doesn’t seem right to me. :-(

I’m all for Gay rights and I am also for the DreamAct. But, I know for a fact that one issue may have more supporters, when the other may not. So, I can’t tell if the bill was rejected because the voters wasn’t for gays being open in the military or if it was because voters were against immigration! And there’s something seriously wrong and sneaky about that! :-o

The vote was close, 56-43, and the suspicious bill needed 60 to pass. And the worse thing is, neither gays or immigrants gets a fair chance! I don’t get to vote on it, in mid-term elections either… I feel like my voice has been ripped away, along with my hopes of a better future for all people. Why can’t I vote on it? Who are these people who are stopping me from saying what I feel about it? Aren’t I an American too? Or am I’m less than one, in their eyes? :-(

No… maybe they are afraid of letting it get into ballot, the American hands, because maybe there are more Americans who would say, “People are people and they have a right to a chance… a chance to get citizenship and a chance to be themselves in the military. Maybe it’s wrong of us to benefit from the spent tuition in college by and military service of illegal aliens, while at the same time not giving them a fair chance to become citizens too. Maybe it’s wrong to deny a soldier’s true sexuality, yet ask of him or her, to lay down their lives for this country and to protect us anyways.”

Has is become that the government now doesn’t trust it’s people, like it’s people do not trust the government. When is this warring of humans against humans, based on religion, sexual orientation, and skin color, going to end? When??? It’s the year 2010 and we’re no further than 1819! So many lines of hated drawn, all over this country… I weep for everyone. :-(

The DreamAct doesn’t benefit criminals, drug cartel, and all of that dumb racist crap that racist scum like to put on ALL Hispanics. In fact, the new law states that if a person have done illegal crimes or broken major laws, the DreamAct is in void to those people. So, who gets a chance with this bill? STUDENTS, law abiding students… young people of colleges and those serving in the military too, who just lack the papers to be legal in the US. Yet they are willing to serve in our US military, protecting us from the real enemies, the terrorists who want to blow up stuff and kill us all! And is there something wrong with letting those who love this country, willing to contribute to it, and willing to fight for us being granted a chance to stay here? Is there a problem with that? Really? :-(

It was just WRONG to add both issues in the same bill. It was wrong and sneaky, somehow. It would have been fair and less sneaky, if each issue stood on their own and voted on at different times, and if the vote was lost under those circumstancs… then it was simply lost. But in this way, I don’t know if those who voted against it was homophobic or just racist! Either way, it’s all bad! I feel cheated! Like a very bad con-game have just been played. And I’m not sure which is the sneaky party behind this scheme, the Democrats or the Republicans. I don’t trust either one! Maybe they’re working together on this… :-/

I’m not saying that all government and the idea of politics should be abolished. Somehow, that extreme idea seems very dangerous to me… not sure why, but I get a bad feeling about a lack of government in any society. But, a lot of these out-dated, hidden agenda, radical nit-wits need to be removed! They don’t speak for the modern population, of today’s generation or the next generation of Americans. Not all of us (actually, most of us) don’t have the old dinosaur ideas of judging people by skin color, over stereotyping one racial group, freaking out whenever there is a gay man or lesbian woman standing next to us, or type casting any one religion. I’m sad to say it, but the younger generation is less retarded about these things, than the older (who are suppose to be wiser) adults. Not to say that there isn’t a few (or more than a few) discriminatory people within my generation too. But, they are a lot less common than in the older generation.

I am ranting because I am highly disappointed. I am sadden with how the Defense Bill was handled. And I’m not sure which issue made things difficult for which issue, the reason for the bill being shot down. Also, there was a third thing added, which I am not sure was the cause of it… of legalizing abortion for a few Military Hospitals. So, I don’t know if the gays in the military sunk the boat or the immigration issue was the one to torpedo it. But if neither was the case, the abortion issue would have done it, for sure! Either way, two sets of dreamers were denied today and hope is lost…. All for political gain, grand-standing, and play. And it’s a good ploy for BOTH parties (Reps and Dems) to benefit from, as both can use this bill and it’s failure as an weapon, to gain votes away from each other in the mid-terms now. :-(

Shouldn’t human beings and civil rights matter more, than politics and fighting over who gets elected? When will the back-bitting and games end? I feel very sad for this country and the people within it. It seems that madness, greed for power, a political warfare have taken over. And we are caught in a firestorm of endless hated and ignorance…


Note: And no, I am not Hispanic or Lesbian, so don’t even go there. I care about ALL people. When you deny the rights of one group of human beings, you really deny the rights of all! We’re all connected. :-/