Who’s A Hero?

November 16, 2010

I am a fan of a particular blogger, who writes a lot about his adventures as a Dad. Yes, I’m talking about BloggerDad, if you haven’t heard about him yet. So, I have read another installment of his hilarious take on life and being a parent, last week. But it was a post of  some future wisdom for his son. One of his points were, “Today’s heroes are tomorrow’s disappointments. Have no heroes. Except those which appear in comic books.” I have to say, that one is more true than it is funny! So, thus I began to think up this post. :-p

Since a very young age, I had been looking for role-models, people to look up to. And of course, many of my first role-models were comic books ones. Especially Batman and Superman! Wolverine and Storm came later. And in my early adult life, as for other fictional heroes, there was Xena: Warrior Princess, Vash: The Stampede from the anime “Trigun”, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, and Angel – the vampire that Buffy loved. No mom, not Spike: the vampire, as he was the BAD guy. In spite of his good looks! :-p

But I also had so MANY real-life people that I thought were heroes, growing up. The fact is, people are human and make terrible mistakes. And then the hero image become forever tarnished. It’s a tough thing, to learn that your good guy is also a bad guy, and make horrible mistakes too. I’ve been disappointed time and time again, by “mentors” who were not all that they had appeared to be. I had looked up to men and women, who tried to tell me to stay in school and steer me in the right direction in life… Only, they later showed their true-selves, or made horrible mistakes in my presence. Not little mistakes either. More on the line of infidelity, stealing from the poor, greed, drug abuse, or prostitution. And what’s worse is, many of these “mentors” tried to convince me that the wrong was right! :-/

Too many times, I was like the little boy grabbing the arm of shoeless Joe on the courtroom stairs, “Say it ain’t so, Joe! Say it ain’t so!”. And after too many times of that, I’ve lost my faith in real life heroes, altogether. Fictional heroes (like Superman and Wolverine!), rarely let you down like that. Only if their authors decide to write them in that way. But most of the time, even if Superman suddenly turns evil, it’s because of some red Kryptonite ring that caused him to do bad things and not the control of the man himself. The ring gets knocked away and he’s back to normal and sorry about the wrong doings under the spell. Same old story of heroes, which applies to Frodo and all the rest too. :-p

But in real life, when a person is caught doing something wrong, rarely are they sorry for it and then go back to their hero-like ways. Mostly, they are sorry that they were CAUGHT doing the bad deed. And next time, they will be careful to not get caught doing it again. :-/

So, I try very hard to not look for heroes in my life, or mentors, or anyone to idolize. I try to be my own hero. If I can look myself in the eye in the mirror and be happy with what I see, or to sleep well at nights knowing that I did the right thing that day, that’s all the hero I need. And if I need an outside hero, then I’ll visit the Bat-cave and do a trippy dance with Batman and Robin. Or hit Gollum over the head, while screaming, “Run, Mr. Frodo!” :-p

As for celebrities themselves… that’s a disaster for disappointments. I do admire Bono Vox, of the band U2, a whole lot! So far, more or less, he has kept his nose clean. But, I do remind myself that he is human also. So, I try not to get too attached, as difficult as that is! The guy’s a genius. Also I admire Keanu Reeves, who also keeps himself out of trouble, so far. David Boreanaz, who played as the fictional character that I once idolized- “Angel”, has fallen from my radar a lot lately. He committed infidelity, early this year, which he admitted to and publicly apologized for. It reeks of another “Tiger”, to me. And he also have some lawsuits coming up, for the accusations of sexual harassment in the workplace, which he denies. Say it ain’t so, Joe… :-/

My point is, in a world with less real life super-heroes, the only thing to do is to become a hero yourself. Not for the sake of others, but for yourself. We all need someone to look up to, every now and then. And sometimes it’s not so   feasible to find such a person in real life, because we’re all very flawed human beings. But the real truth of it is, when you do what you feel is right and do the right things, even when it’s not so easy to do (and sometimes it’s hard like hell!), then it’s the same feeling you get all the same. A hero or mentor gives comfort and hope that, in the darkness, light can prevail against all the odds. And it really doesn’t matter if that hope comes from an outside source or from within oneself. Just as long as you have that hope, is all that matters. :-)




  1. Hey whot you mean daughter? My Spike is not a bad guy.Remember I advoided or tried to the episodes that showed him in not so good of a light?
    Aww and my sweet Bono can do no wrong either–well lets hope not

    • And that’s a problem… avoiding the bad things that people do doesn’t make it go away or not exist. It just means that you keep an unrealistic veil or expectation over the truth of a person, not seeing someone as they really are. Character or not. For the record, Spike only did “good” when it benefited himself. Even when he gained a soul, it was for the sake to get into a girl’s pants. :-/
      And, yes Bono COULD do wrong, because he’s human. And all humans are capable of doing wrong.

      Sorry, mom… reality is reality. :-/

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