Who Am I?

March 21, 2011

I really don’t know of my genealogy and it’s one of those things that bothers me a lot. I often study the cultures of others, I aspire to be a world-traveler someday, and I often make friends with people all over the world with different cultural backgrounds. But… I don’t know of my own roots completely. :-(

I do know my core race, without a doubt, but recently I was clued in that my family’s roots are mixed. We’re not just one race, originating from one homeland, but our bloodline comes from possibly two other races. One of the other races, besides my core one, is most definitely Caucasian. But also we are mixed with Island blood. And that’s the mystery… which Island? :-/

There are so many Islands around the US, also all over the world. Assuming that “The Islands” are around the US, it doesn’t narrow down my family’s bloodline by much. We could have originated from Trinidad, Jamaica, Hawaii, The Bahamas, etc, for all I know. Sadly, the people who knew of my family’s bloodline the most have all passed away. They were trying to impart the knowledge to my mother, her siblings, and cousins… but no one seemed to be interested. Or at least not interested enough to ask the obvious question of, “Which Islands?” D’oh! :-(

So, that leaves the younger generation of my family without answers,  not knowing who we really are and where we came from. And the not knowing part does bother me a lot, because I’m a curious person by nature anyway. I often wonder if who I am is somehow reflective on who my ancestors were. I also wonder if I have other relatives out there in the world, that I’ve haven’t met. I wonder if my past relatives have once faced the same things that I do today, or made strides in things that are important to me today. Did my love of writing come from them? Or the way I care and fight for others, did it come from them?

I have a small facial tick, where I unconsciously raise my left eyebrow whenever I hear something ludicrous, puzzling, or confusing. And the brow raises up when I’m being highly sarcastic or making a very strong point, in conversation. None of my current relatives have this tick, except for my grandmother, may her soul rest. I am curious if my ancestors did this too or if I have other unknown relatives in the world who are raising a brow. =p

There are services out there, that can find the answers and help me track down my genealogy. Only it costs a hefty penny, so it’s one of those things I can’t follow, at this time. But, I do wonder. Every now and then, I come across some profile or questionnaire, that asks me to list my other cultural ties. I know that I’m not just one race, but there’s a huge question mark over which other races are within my blood. There is no check box for simply, “The Islands” on these things.

Maybe someday, I’ll have the answers about my cultural background. I believe, the more that I can learn and understand my ancestry, the more I can strengthen myself. :-)



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