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Silver And Gold

April 11, 2011

Over the winter, I found myself in the place of trying to figure out what friendship means to me. I was a lot lonely, for the most part, and I felt the need to make a few new friends. My current friends were all busy, as they should be, living their lives this winter. And I felt a lot like the  kid who was left behind. I hate that feeling and it doesn’t do well for my psyche. I began moping around a bit, in my dark hoodie, and wondering often what my friends where up to.

But I needed to break out of that slump and meet a few people to chit-chat with, this winter. And going out on the town was not an feasible option, in the middle of snow-storms and delayed public transportation. So, I shifted around on the internet, of course. I have written rants before, about the awful web-communities I have stumbled upon and the dysfunctions within those sites, so I had this idea that forums were the right way to go. Well, that may have been true, back in the 90’s… But it isn’t so, anymore. :-/

I had ran into the most dysfunctional weirdos ever. And, that’s saying a lot, as I pride myself as a “misfit”,  “weirdo”, and “dysfunctional”. But now, I’m finding myself rethinking the definition of these words. Is my brand of “crazy” the new sane? And has the behaviors that are often found in asylums become the new “quirky”? I wonder… seriously.

The first forum I joined was a women’s one, since I am a woman (even though I act like a little girl. :-p) and I thought it would be nice to get in some “Ya-Ya sisterhood” -ing. The forum was okay, but a lot cliquish. The women were nice enough, but I got that familiar feeling I had in high-school, where I’m just the new kid showing up to class and have to prove my worth to the group. I did try, but I don’t have that energy or will to dance to the organ grinder at my age, so after a while they ignored me and I moved on. No hard feelings, but I had to search for another forum is all. ;-)

The second forum was a religious one, of the Paganism path, with makes sense because I am Pagan. I was thinking that maybe I could socialize and talk religious ideas, not unlike how people gather at a church. The religious part was fine on this forum, but the personalities of these people were a lot off. I was instantly surrounded by others, inviting me into their clique with no questions asked… but they were a clique of snerts who liked to make fun and crush the spirits of others in the chat-rooms! Yikes! This is not me and I was starting to piss off this group, by encouraging and actually trying to help out the new-comers of the religion in chat, rather than to attack with thick sarcasm and insults. Also, a few very weird people followed me from that forum and onto FaceBook, and they were a lot too clingy and odd. That will teach me to give out personal information to strangers!

Oh, but there’s more drama from this one forum. One guy would log on to chat with me, yet he didn’t chat. He just wanted me to chat and then got weirded out if I stopped and wanted to hear from him within the conversation. And a few others were men desperate for a wife and ogling my picture. There were  a few oddball women too. But one woman was a little too stalker-ish. And I’m pretty sure she was a scam-artist. So, I got the hell out of that forum and removed the followers from my FaceBook. :-/

Then I tried a forum of people who liked to talk about nothing at all and everything at once. Sorta like the very idea of this blog here. And I thought it was a great find, fitting me perfectly. But unfortunately, by the time I found this site, not many posted there anymore… only a few snerts. :-(

The last forum I tried was that writer’s forum. But I won’t rehash that one here. I’ve already did my ranting. ;-)

So, in my attempt to make new friends in forums, I failed and it was a complete waste of time! Not only that, I had gained some extra hurt feelings, crushed spirits, and a deeper lack of faith in humanity itself. :-/

But, the funny thing is, I had plenty of other bonds, of people I’ve chatted with briefly with on FaceBook. They are or were acquaintances. I began speaking with them in passing this winter, as I always do, and something weird happened. A few I have gotten closer with other over the winter. So, I’ve been looking elsewhere, when really the new friends were around me, this whole time. Man, is my face red! :-p

But I also realized, that within life, it’s good to make new friends. But, it’s always important to remember the old ones too! It’s like that old nursery rhyme, “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.” And if children can get it right, then we adults should pay attention too! No matter how far I travel, or of the cool people I meet and make friends with, I’ll never forget the ones who have always been in my corner from the start! :-)

And I thank everyone who has been there for me this past winter, that took the time to give me encouragement and strength! You all know who you are, my FB poke-buddies and PM pals. ;-)

And just because it’s spring, it doesn’t mean that I’ll disappear either. Nope!  I’ll always be in touch and on FaceBook, regardless. ;-)

-D

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2 comments

  1. I think that the anonymity of the internet attracts people that find joy in being horrible to other people but don’t have the guts to do it in real life. I am always amazed at how hatefull people can be for absolutely no reason but on the other side of the coin, there are communities out there that manage to stay on track and are positive places to be.

    I join in with some sites that have social elements, through my design and art and this area seems to be filled with genuine people. Of course there are always trouble makers but on the whole they are pretty cool places to be and I have received vast amounts of help and support. There seems to be something about the minds of artists and writers that welcomes rather than pushes away. There is a kind of code that everyone follows, which is – treat everyone as you would want to be treated. I think artists understand how vunerable you are when you put your work on display and so are more supportive to others who do just that.

    Anyway, just thought I would have a bit of a ramble as I find this subject quite interesting. Keep up the good blogging :o)


  2. Yep, you do have a point there, purplecactus. For the most part, artists are more welcoming than anyone else online. Not all artist are (I’m thinking of that horrible writer’s site I found some months back), but for the majority that is true. :-)

    Most of my friends online are artists in different ways: graphic artist, photographers, painters, and writers. And they are the most caring and soulful people that I’ve ever had the good fortune to know. ;-)

    Thanks for reading! :-D



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