Calling A Spade A Rorschach

May 11, 2011

I am the type to call a spade a spade, always. I have been that way, since I was a little girl. It’s hard for me to not be honest and call things like I see them. Though, I’m not rude or fee; the need to go out of my way to tackle a person with my opinion. I often come with the disclaimer, “Don’t ask me, if you’re not looking for a honest answer.” And yet, people don’t seem to take me seriously and ask anyway, then get upset with my answers… :-/

Though, the worst part about it is, I never claim to be an know-it-all. I do know something about some things, but all of my spade callings are highly subjective and are bias, based on my own personal experiences and vulnerabilities. And it’s the same deal for EVERYONE on this planet too. We are all bound to be wrong, at least twice (tongue-in-cheek) in our lives. We can’t be right all the time. But, I do believe that I am entitled to my views and opinions, just like everyone else. :-p

The way we see and judge situations, others, and ourselves depend on our own individual experiences. It’s hard to know the “right” or “wrong” answers in gray situations. And you can’t gain a clue from the masses either, being that a whole group of people could be totally wrong together. For example, the “witch-hunt” mass hysteria of Salem Massachusetts or the Nazi war and mass genocide in 1939. Some judgement are harsh and damaging, like racism or bigotry against cultural backgrounds, gender, or religion.

But every day (and less extreme) judgment is a part of human nature, like judging if a person is intelligent, trustworthy, honorable, sneaky, a thief, and so on. Not to say that all judgments, even when not to the extreme, are right or wrong. Because we are human, we are most likely to make mistakes in any and all judgments.

But another dangerous extreme would to be non-judging for ALL things. Sure, it may sound nice to say, “I don’t judge anyone. I’m judgement free!” But, you set yourself up for some really dangerous situations in life  that way.  For example, you may be walking down a dark parking lot one night, and see a towering figure of a man, moving erratically in the darkness.  In order to be non-judgmental, you may ignore basic survival instincts, in order to say, “Who am I to judge? That man may be harmless.” True, he could be just a man heading for his car, just like you are, with no ill-intentions. But in not making a judgement call, or to be cautious, you may not get your keys and pepper spray ready, taking your sweet time to head for your car. And if your non-judgement is wrong, then you’ve just opened yourself up for a very brutal, if not fatal attack.

In other words, both sides of one extreme is never an good idea. You shouldn’t go around naming and labeling everything in life, but you shouldn’t walk around blind either. :-/

In my opinion, calling a spade a spade is much like interpreting an ink blot. Some of us will come up with a similar answer and a few will not. And our answers are always a reflection of our inner selves. There are things such as “tact” and also not offering your opinion if not asked. But if I’m entering into a conversation and a person only wants me to smile and nod and say everything they do is okay, they need to tell me that, before we start. I don’t make a habit of spilling all of my opinions on a person, I know how to pick and choose my battles, and I never aim to crush the spirits of another or to discouraged them! If a person asks I will tell the truth as I see it. But it is only as I see and feel it, not holy writ.

If a person wants me to lie to them, then they’ve picked the wrong person to talk with. And I don’t encourage others to lie to me either, in return. In fact, lying is a very serious offense to me and I’m liable to respect a person less, than I would respect a person for telling me their “truth” on any given situation or subject.

In other words, a person can have the most insane, ignorant, and rudest opinion in the history of the world. And most likely, I would scoff at them and believe that they are totally WRONG in their opinion, but they would still have my respect. Though, a person who hides their true thoughts and feelings, pretending to fit in with an idea or agree with it in public, but hiding behind closed doors with an opposite view, is a coward and liar to me. They lose all of my respect, instantly. And again, this is me calling a spade a spade, my true opinion and thought on the whole matter.It’s okay if others don’t agree with me, I’m not hear and living for masses to agree, and I can really care less if others have an opposing view.  Not everyone has to agree with or accept me. I’m happy to interpret the ink-blots of life, as I see fit to, even if I am alone in my observations. I’m just being honest. ;-)



One comment

  1. I agree with the dangers of being entirely non-judgemental. I’d love to replace it with Make righteous judgment cos we can’t escape the cals we need to make. All else is like saying “But what if I get this wrong?”

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